So much for Nathan sleeping better...

I had a moment of deep thinking the other day while we were doing a day with a lot of driving - thoughts about saying good-bye and being too busy to notice life changing and then finally when you slow down, you feel like everything's changed, and you need to adjust but you're not entirely sure how because really, life is just going on the same as it always has, it's just you that feels different. 

Anyway, I had intentions of writing a semi-decent blog post about it all, but then Nathan started sleeping crappy again, and my brain power significantly diminished with the ensuing lack of sleep.  It's a small miracle I'm writing today because he had me up for over two hours last night when he just didn't want to go back to sleep after waking up at 12:45am.  And then I got into a somewhat heated discussion with God about how it was time for Him to step in and take over because I was at my wit's end, and how was I supposed to be a good mother to my other two children in the morning when I had to be up all night with a baby that was perfectly fine in all other ways but just refused to sleep??

I wish I could tell you how that conversation ended, but my sleep-deprived brain can't really remember.  I think I managed to not get too angry for once, and I'm pretty sure Nathan fell asleep eventually, but I think I also ended up patting his back until he did so, so I have no idea if God was involved in the process or not.  All I know is, it was a very short hour and a half later that he was awake again, so I finally took him into my bed, got him back to sleep, and had myself a short little nap before the cat came in and tried to wake us both up.  Darn cat.

Another completely random and unrelated thing of note, my daughter's new backpack has a little hole in it made specifically for headphones.  I'm not sure how I feel about that.  I am certain, though, she won't be using it any time soon.

That's all for today...

Kick-starting my brain

I've been thinking over the last few days that maybe it's time to start getting more blog posts out there again.  I think it helps to see my Dad blogging so regularly.  It's funny though - when I used to blog so regularly, my brain was constantly thinking of posts to write, and throughout my day to day activities, in the back of my mind I would be writing posts to (hopefully) type up later.

My brain seems to have been shut off because I don't do that so much anymore.  Maybe it's because I'm so tired...

But last night, Nathan had the best sleep he's had since he was an infant, if not the best sleep he's had ever.  His first feeding wasn't until 2:45 -- and he didn't wake up even once before that!!  Frankly, he's a pretty crummy sleeper and usually wakes up several times through the night.  This has given me hope that maybe there is improvement in sight, and maybe I may start being a little less sleep deprived.

Which means maybe my brain will start working properly again.

Or maybe it won't because somehow being a Mommy permanently changes the way your brain works because now you suddenly have to keep track of all kinds of random details about your children that don't really have major significance but still need to be remembered, like diaper schedules and how much food they've been eating and what letter day it is at school today or if they even have school that day.

What's interesting to me is how I've noticed that as I consider re-starting my blogging habit, I am doing more of the post-writing thing in my head the way I used to.  It feels a bit like I'm forcing it instead of it coming naturally the way it used to, but it has me wondering if that is how it is to a certain extent, a habit that I need to re-develop instead of waiting for it to just come.  Maybe my brain just needs a bit of a kick-start.

Maybe I need to change the way I blog a bit, plan out my posts a little more intentionally, or do like Dad, and just write shorter posts.  I do need to write about my garden at some point, hopefully with pictures.  It's changed quite a bit since my last post about it.  Every now and then I make something new in the kitchen, and I keep meaning to take pictures while I cook, so hopefully I can get better at that, too.  Apparently crock pot bread is a real hit, so maybe I can find something else to do in the crock pot that people will like, too.  :)

Anyway, at least for a start, you have a new post for today.  We'll see if I actually get any better at posting regularly...  (I just re-read my post -- there's a lot of "maybes" in here...)

With sadness...

It's been probably our busiest week of the entire year, and my mind has been anywhere but on everything I've had to do. 

It's hard to focus when I consider the events of the past few days and the nightmare that the Bosma family is experiencing.  My "trials" seem so trivial in comparison.

And somehow, my life keeps moving on.  I keep doing those seeming millions of things that need to be done this week - meetings, parties, prep for All Ontario Youth Convention, Reuben's first field day at school...  But it's all tainted with a bit of sadness, and in the back of mind, I continue in prayers for a woman I've never met, this brave woman who speaks boldly to the public about the her husband that will never be forgotten while choking back tears and asking for prayers for herself and her daughter.

It all hits a little too close to home, and I can't help wondering if I would be so brave if it were me facing such horrific loss.

Please pray with me, that in the days, weeks, months and years ahead God will continue to provide this family with the strength, comfort and peace only He can bring.

Help Find Tim Bosma

I don't know if this will help or not, but this family needs our prayers.  I watched the statement made by Tim's wife yesterday, and I couldn't help but be in tears.  The little things I complain about through my day seem so trivial to the nightmare she must be going through right now.  If anyone out there reading this knows anything about where Tim or his truck might be, please call the numbers on the poster below.  Repost and share with your friends so we can get the word out everywhere for people to keep looking for Tim and his truck.