I need a job

well, the new year has begun and a new semester is underway. I thank the Lord everyday that this is finally my last semester. Don't get me wrong, I love Redeemer...if only it weren't for those pesky classes and all that reading I fully intend to do yet know I'll never get to. I am not a student at heart.

I have also come to the distressing conclusion that I have no money, and therefore must find some sort of part-time work to pay for my tuition and rent for the next four months. If anyone knows of anyplace hiring, let me know. (And yes Stew, I know Pita Pit is hiring...it's on my list of thinking abouts...)

In Memorium

It is with a sad heart that inform you of the tragic death of my van...(and my sister's van). She lived a good life. A long life. Saw the East Coast three times and numerous places in between. Cause of death: transmission failure. We will always remember her fondly.

In Memory of
Our Plymouth Voyager
1993-2004

(...on the bright side, we've already found another vehicle to take her place...)

Of bumps, tears, and second chances...

It is hard to put exactly into words all the many things that I have been experiencing over the past number of weeks. My papers are done, exams rapidly approaching, and the Christmas season is upon us. To say that I feel slightly overwhelmed at how quickly the last semester has gone by would be an understatement, but at the same time I am glad to see it coming to an end.

Of course, the end of semester would not be complete without our annual Christmas concert, in this year's case, not one, but two concerts of Handel's Messiah. I would be remiss if I did not explain something of what this year's concert experience was like. To be honest I found it difficult to feel ready for the concert on Friday night. The evening seemed to come upon us rather before we were ready for it. Since singing the Messiah in high school I've loved the music and was so excited to be singing it again, but for some reason I wasn't in the mood for it yet, and didn't feel like it was coming together. The night of the concert: it went really well....until the end. I still don't even quite know what happened, but one minute we were singing together, and the next we were all over the place. Some say it was the sopranos, others say it wasn't...I don't really know where it started. All I know is that I had this sinking feeling way down in the pit of my stomach, that we'd done so well, and now we were blowing it...on a piece that we'd gone over so many times.

After the performance was finished I couldn't get my legs to stop shaking, and it was all I could do not to burst into tears...which I eventually did anyway, unfortunately not before I left the school. Tears led to a bloody nose, which led to a mad dash for the bathroom and a nasty bump on my head after running into the wall when I took the corner too fast. It was not a happy night.

Saturday was blah. I don't know how to describe it better than that. I knew we had a second chance that evening, but I almost didn't feel like doing it for fear we'd screw up again. It was hard to feel focused. It wasn't until I was sitting there just after the performance had started and I was listening to the orchestra play the opening peace that I began to pray, and I realized that God was in that church with us. What we were doing was truly for His glory. He would give us the strength to do it, to stay focused, and to enjoy ourselves. I never have had a more amazing experience singing with the choir than I did last night. I hope and pray that I never forget it. And who knows? Maybe someday I'll get the chance to sing it again...

Brilliance in surprising places

"College is breaking my spirit. Everyday, telling me things I don't know... It makes me feel stupid!" --a random character on Gilmore Girls

Who would have thought that such a brilliant comment could come from a show like Gilmore Girls?

Writer's block

There is nothing quite so frustrating for a student than to face a writer's block right in the middle of paper season. Especially when you're so close to being finished this one major paper......but you just can't quite figure out how to write a critique on Dooyeweerd's "The Great Synthesis". Craig Bartholomew is a wonderful man, but I have a hard enough time trying to understand this stuff let alone analysing it and forming my own opinions it.

I look forward to Christmas...sure to be a hectic holiday this year with twice the family gatherings as normal...this is what happens when you have a significant other in your life...but at the same time it will be good to spend some quality time with my family again without having to think about school or work. Little sister will be coming home from Dordt, the first time to see her since she left at the end of August...you don't really realize how much you miss them until you never see them. I keep meaning to call...

*giving my head a shake*

...getting too introspective here...sheesh...sometimes I wonder if there's such thing as normal life...

ugh papers. 'nuf said.

I know that I always say this, but I really am very sick of school.

So I ended up getting permission to go on the Montreal Mission Trip, and I'm glad I went. It was a lot of fun meeting new Redeemer people, hanging out with a bunch of first years for eight hours there and eight hours back in an eleven seater van, playing pool etc. with the Seafarers and learning how to speak Russian. Well, learning how to say "yes" and "no" in Russian...(that would be "da" and "niet"). Good times. The one drawback to the whole trip was having to sleep for three nights on the floor of a church nursery. I think we should have brought a chiropractor with us. On the bright side, I've developed a new-found appreciation for my mattress.

I'm getting tired of writing papers and I've only just started working on them. I finished an 11-pager this afternoon and handed it in, but seeing as how the whole thing was based on personal reflection and not on library research I have a hard time justifying it as an actual paper. The next two will likely be not so pleasant to write. (I think of that paper discussing Dooyeweerd for my philosophy class...my brain hurts just thinking about how much time I'm going to have to spend pondering...) Yet again on the bright side, there's only just over a month until this semester is done and I'm finally on my last semester here at Redeemer.

Some time for another quick update: school is busy. What else is new? I'm managing to pull by in my philosophy class enough to do a presentation with Jenn Van Breda on Kierkegaard that didn't turn out too badly, except for the part where I nearly passed out in front of the class during the discussion section. It gets a little concerning when all of a sudden you can't see anything and you're trying to get to your chair to sit down...not cool. Thankfully we also have a catchup/learn-about-intro-philosophy-all-in-one-class session during activity period today.

Wedding plans are coming along. For a full update on that see Our wedding site. There's also a link in my links section...and yes, it's been updated.

I'm currently in the process of negotiations with Dr. T about letting me miss practice next Tuesday to go on the Seafarer's mission trip to Montreal. He said he'd think about it and get back to me, but so far he hasn't and I can't help wondering if he forgot...again... While I understand that choir practices are important and every voice counts, this is my last chance for a mission trip while at Redeemer and I'd really like to go...please pray that a)he says yes and b)he gets back to me soon.

A pause at last

okay, I know...I haven't been very good at updating this thing. My apologies, but really...I doubt my life is that interesting to anyone anyway.

School is, as usual, a blissful myriad of enjoyment and extreme frustration. There are times when I almost find myself getting excited by what I'm learning...and then comes the time to study for a midterm and I honestly couldn't care less, especially when it's for an Intro to Bio first year course I should have taken ages ago but put off until my final year. I've yet to have the experience of actually looking forward to going to class. (Is this even possible?!) I can't help but wonder. I must admit that certain courses this semester have surprised me with their level of engagement. In one of my business courses (a rather heavy Operations Management) I actually spoke up over five times in one class period, (this never happens to me, especially in business where I seem to do well, but still feel a rather like an interloper), and in my social work class I participate quite regularly, this probably because there are only four people in the class and if we didn't all speak up it would be rather dull.

And of course, my explication would not be complete without a brief comment on my upper level Philosophy core, Christian Philosophy with Craig Bartholomew. I hope I spelt that right. I must admit to have begun the course feeling very much overwhelmed, much like my fellow classmate, Jenn Van Breda (see Sept.22 entry). Having also taken intro to philosophy with Strauss, admitedly a good course, I find I feel rather that I know nothing about philosophy, quite frustrating in a class full of people who do. I must admit to feeling rather sorry for those poor students who must put up with endless explanations of the early philosophers when they would rather get on to more interesting material. My sincerest apologies for being stupid. I must say though, as time goes on I find the class more and more interesting...albeit over my head, but I appreciate the way we spend the class in discussion and not in drawn-out lectures.

Well, I really must end this now as I have one of those boring midterms to study for. I don't know if anyone reads this site anymore, but I have had some fun updating it anyway.

School again

well, the school year has officially started once more. Truth be told I hate to be back, as fun as it is to see everyone. Due respect to all, but I am getting royally sick of hearing congratulations everywhere I turn. Yes people, I'm engaged. Get over it and move on. The worst part is knowing without a doubt that my name will come up in numerous gossip sessions on who's all gone and gotten engaged over the summer. There are times when the Redeemer grapevine gets rather annoying. And then of course there's classes. I've been blessed/cursed with a wide variety of courses ranging from easy core Bio 121 classes to stupidly impossible yet also core requirement philosophy classes, and then stuff for my major and minors mixed in between. Can you sense the excitement in the room? I only pray this year goes quickly...

Quick update on Tim: he's recovering rapidly and slowly easing back into work...and by slowly I really don't mean slowly...this is Tim we're talking about here.