What not to say to a pregnant woman with 9 weeks left to go...

...and how I wish I could respond to such inappropriately annoying comments...  (forgive me in advance for ranting.)

Comment #1:  Upon hearing my due date: "You're so big!"

Dream Response #1:  Gee, thanks.  Thanks for reminding me that I already feel like a whale, and I have NINE MORE WEEKS TO GROW!  And for the record, I'm not actually that big.  You should have seen me with my other two children, particularly the one that came out weighing 10 pounds.  THAT was big.  This is not.

Comment #2:  "You look like you're ready to pop!"

Dream Response #2:  Really?  That's nice, except that I'm nowhere near my due date.  I have NINE MORE WEEKS TO GO!  If you think I look ready to pop now, what do you think I'm going to look like then?  Does this mean I have to spend the next nine weeks looking like I'm ready to pop?  And what exactly does "ready to pop" mean?  My stomach is going to randomly explode and a baby is going to pop out?  Gee, what a pleasant thought.  Thanks, but no thanks.  (In case you can't tell, I absolutely HATE this comment.  It's a real conversation killer, too.  Exactly how is someone supposed to respond to this?!)

I'm sure there are more things that people have said to me that they really shouldn't have, but these are two that I heard yesterday at church that really drove me crazy.  I've also decided that I need to wear a sign that says, "No, we did not find out if it's a boy or a girl."  Not that it's rude for people to ask if we know or not, I'm just getting really sick of talking about it.  I should be thankful for something to make small talk about since I hate making small talk so much, but it does get tiring to have to say the same thing over and over again.

Some further remarks:  If you've ever said one of these two comments to a pregnant woman or even just wanted to say it, please reconsider your words.  What I find interesting is that both these comments came from women with children, so theoretically they would know how it feels to be pregnant and huge and not really wanting to be reminded of one's large girth.  Something more appropriate to say would be, "You look great!" (even if she doesn't...)  Pregnant women have enough issues with the way they look.  Please don't contribute to these issues by making ridiculous comments about their size and reminding them of just how big they might be.

Stepping down off my soap box...  Until the next annoying comment...