Earlier this week, I had some really good ideas for another blog post. Unfortunately, I didn't get a chance to write them down right away, so now I forget most of what I was going to say. This is a feeble attempt to remember what they were for you...
I was driving home from my Mom 2 Mom group on Monday night when I had most of these thoughts. For some reason, driving is a very therapeutic time for me. The kids (when they're with me, and for once, they weren't that night) are usually quiet. I can put some music on and just think.
On Monday night in particular, I was driving my sister's car, and she had a Sarah McLachlin CD playing -- excellent music to emote to. The moon was full, and the reflection on the water as I drove over the Burlington Skyway bridge made my heart ache. The car passed from shadow to light, shadow to light as the streetlights passed overhead. There's something about driving at night that makes me even more melancholy.
I found myself wondering, when do we begin to heal? The cliche, "Time heals all wounds," comes to mind just now, but it's just such a lame statement that, while maybe true, doesn't really offer much in the way of help. Do we heal gradually, without noticing it, until one day, after "time" has gone by, we wake up and realize we no longer hurt? Or do we somewhere along the way force ourselves to heal by engaging in therapeutic acts, writing blog posts that haven't been written for too much time, laughing at funny movies when we'd rather be crying, playing games with our friends when we just want to be alone, cleaning the house when we'd rather just let it stay dirty...the acts of living life to the fullest instead of wallowing in our misery...
I think sometimes we have no choice but to do those little things that help us claw our way out of that deep pit. Maybe if the pit weren't so deep, we could wait for it to slowly fill back in with dirt until we get back on even ground. But sometimes...sometimes, it takes a litle more effort.
Okay, that was deeper than I meant it to be (hah, no pun intended). Leaving now. Kaylee's done her snack. Ponder that if you will...
1 comment:
i think previous post was going to be something about how people need to be believe in something. which is why the olympics are a big deal. was that you? or am i thinking of a totally different conversation?
in reference to this post...
a. well said.
b. if i can cop out and say, i think it's both - time and effort. i think time comes first, letting the dirt settle and perhaps even the temporary wallowing in your own dirt. but when it slowly fills up, it's then that you reach toward that ledge and perhaps even jump a little in order to get your foot in the wall of said cavernous pit.
i dunno. just some thoughts.
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