My eReader

This is my Kobo.

I got a Kobo. 

I know.  It's almost a sacrilege.  I actually bought an eReader.  But before you take me out back and read me the riot act for doing something so crazy, hear me out. 

When you have kids, an eReader is actually extremely handy.  As in, I can now borrow books from the library without leaving my house.  Have you ever tried browsing the library with two small children in tow?  And I mean literally in tow.  The last time I tried to find a book for myself at the library, Reuben and Kaylee decided it would be a fun time to pretend that they were my new shoes.  So they latched themselves onto my legs, and I had to try and walk with two cling-ons attached.  Not my idea of how to find a book at the library.  With my new eReader, I don't have to do this anymore.  I can sit on my couch with my laptop and browse the library from the comfort of my living room.  It's wonderful.

Also, when you are nursing an infant, it is much easier to read when you don't need a second hand free to turn pages.  In fact, I don't even have to hold the book at all.  I can just leave the Kobo on my leg or on the arm of the chair or next to me on the couch and tap on it occasionally to turn the page.  No more trying to awkwardly turn a page while holding a baby.  No more worrying about losing my spot when I put the book down because the pages are going to flip over without me holding my spot or putting in a bookmark.  Very, very handy.

Anyway, I'm not trying to make you all go out and buy yourselves eReaders.  In fact, I have no intention of changing my book purchasing habits just because I have one.  There's still nothing quite like the smell of a new book, and reading a book with the actual pages in your hands is a completely different experience from reading it on an eReader.  Besides which, there are many books that don't come in e-format.  But at this stage in my life, I have a definite appreciation for this new technology, and I'm thrilled with my purchase so far.

Some thoughts

I have a few moments to myself, so I thought I'd take the time to see if I can get a blog post out.  Nathan is sitting quietly beside me in his bouncy chair, and the other two kids are occupied playing with two older children from our church that have started coming over for a few hours on occasional afternoons.  It's a great arrangement that the kids and I both love because they get somebody to play with, and I don't have to try to keep them entertained during that dead time between nap and supper.

I'm discovering a couple of things.  One, I'm really feeling the itch to get back into blogging more regularly again.  I've had a couple of ideas for posts, some from when I was pregnant and just didn't get around to writing and some now that life is starting to go back to normal.  Except that's one of the other things that I'm discovering: life has to have a new normal now that there's an infant in the house. 

Which leads to another discovery: it's hard to create a normal routine with an infant and two other children.  I know that this shouldn't really come as a surprise, and it doesn't really.  I think I'm just feeling the frustration of enjoying having some energy back now that I'm no longer pregnant, so I want to be doing so many different things, but feeling like I can't because I'm tied down to an infant schedule and still trying to deal with some serious sleep deprivation, so I need to try to conserve the energy I do have.

For example, I wish I could get back to the morning routine of getting up with the kids to read blogs and write posts, but for some reason, I feel like every minute of my mornings is now taken up with just getting everybody dressed and fed.  And school hasn't even started yet!  I'm worried about how much more hectic mornings are going to get when I have to actually have the kids fed and dressed in time to get Reuben on the bus.  Anyway, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it, and hopefully I'll have some kind of better morning routine figured out by then.

But it does mean that I also don't get the blogging time in that I wish I could, and I'm not so sure it would work to switch to writing in the evenings because by the time the kids are in bed, all I want to do is crash on the couch and veg for a little while before I go to bed myself, usually at a ridiculously early hour in anticipation of being woken every three hours (or more frequently) to feed the bottomless pit that is a two-week-old infant.

Actually, even writing this post now, at suppertime, feels a little strange.  But maybe this needs to be the new normal?

Part of the problem is that since I've been out of the blogging routine for so long, I almost don't know where to start with the posts, so I'm hoping that by just writing this now, it will pave the way for more posts, and maybe I just need to sit down at some point and write out for myself all the post ideas I have and plan out a bit when I might try to write them.  Ooh, planning posts...  Will I?  Will I?  Will it actually happen?  We will have to wait and see...

Introducing...

...Nathan John, born on Tuesday, June 26, 2012 at 10:40pm.

He weighed 6lb 15oz and was 20.5cm long.  I got the little baby I was hoping for.  :)  Reuben was over 8lb, and Kaylee was 10lb; this is a huge adjustment for us.  Everything with the labour and delivery went well, even though I'd been switched to OB care in my 38th week due to concerns about my platelet levels.  My midwife was still present at the hospital, and I was so grateful for her help in getting me off the ridiculous monitors that the hospital seems to think is necessary.  The OB resident that day seemed to think I needed to be on the monitors constantly, and therefore needed to be stuck in the hospital bed, not fun when you're trying to go naturally.  I can see why so many women decide to have epidurals if that's the kind of stuff they have to put up with.  Luckily, the attending OB overrode that decision, but the nurse decided not to actually take the monitors off of me even when they weren't keeping track of things.  My midwife quickly put things to right when she got there, and things went much more smoothly from that point on.  An hour and a half after being admitted, Nathan was born! 

We spent that first night in the hospital, and then my sister Laura brought Reuben and Kaylee in to visit us the next day.  They are super excited to have the baby brother they were hoping for.

We are all settling in nicely at home now.  Tim went back to work this week, and I think I managed fairly well with just me and the three kids.  Nathan seems to sleep better in the day than at night, and his nap doesn't really match up with Kaylee's, so I'm pretty sleep-deprived at this point, but otherwise, I'm starting to feel a bit like my pre-pregnant self again.  That said, I have every intention of nursing Nathan for at least a year, so I'm not sure how long my brain will be stuck in that particular fog, but I'm quite certain it won't be nearly as bad as pregnancy brain.  I am hoping to get back into posting a little more regularly, (when/if I can find the time), and I can already feel the creative juices slowly starting to flow again.  And then again, that could be due to my renewed relationship with that faithful friend, my morning cup of coffee.  Mmm, coffee.  How I have missed thee!

Anyway, that's all for now. 

A boring update post

Reuben woke me up this morning shortly before six.  I sent him back to bed because it was too early to get up, and he was actually doing really well with that, but of course, I could no longer get back to sleep.  I lay there for a little while with my mind spinning, until I finally decided to just get up and go downstairs because maybe, just maybe, with my brain spinning this quickly I just might manage to get a blog post out this morning.

May was a busy month for us.  Between my sister's wedding, the annual May long weekend trek to Waterloo for the All Ontario Youth Convention and bi-weekly midwife appointments, I barely had time to sit down and breathe.  I think even my kids noticed that I was a little more stressed than usual. 

But even though it was busy, and at times stressful, it was a good month with lots of time spent with family and friends.  I am glad, though, that things have slowed down, and I can spend the next four weeks or so preparing for this new baby that's about to join our family.

For the most part, I've been feeling good, and I'm thankful that this baby seems to be smaller than Kaylee was.  Watch it prove me wrong and come out over 10 pounds...  I'm officially 36 weeks, which means I start having weekly midwife appointments.  Sometimes it's hard to believe we're already at that point.  Thankfully, most of my appointments are on Tuesdays when Tim is home, so he can either come with me with the kids or stay home with them.  I discovered early on that it does not work for me to take the kids to appointments by myself.  I can't entertain them and try to focus on the appointment at the same time.

I've also discovered that I get really sick of looking for babysitters.  This past month it has felt like there's always something going on that I need to locate childcare for, and I'm really tired of always trying to think of who to call.  I did find a student that lives relatively close by that I can pay to babysit for a change, but it's a bit of a hassle to have to pick her up if Tim is gone as I then have to drag this kids with me to get her and bring her home. 

Anyway, enough of all that.  I think my brain has finally slowed down a little at least.  I don't know how long it will be until you get another post.  With my track record, my next words to you may be a birth announcement....!!

What not to say to a pregnant woman with 9 weeks left to go...

...and how I wish I could respond to such inappropriately annoying comments...  (forgive me in advance for ranting.)

Comment #1:  Upon hearing my due date: "You're so big!"

Dream Response #1:  Gee, thanks.  Thanks for reminding me that I already feel like a whale, and I have NINE MORE WEEKS TO GROW!  And for the record, I'm not actually that big.  You should have seen me with my other two children, particularly the one that came out weighing 10 pounds.  THAT was big.  This is not.

Comment #2:  "You look like you're ready to pop!"

Dream Response #2:  Really?  That's nice, except that I'm nowhere near my due date.  I have NINE MORE WEEKS TO GO!  If you think I look ready to pop now, what do you think I'm going to look like then?  Does this mean I have to spend the next nine weeks looking like I'm ready to pop?  And what exactly does "ready to pop" mean?  My stomach is going to randomly explode and a baby is going to pop out?  Gee, what a pleasant thought.  Thanks, but no thanks.  (In case you can't tell, I absolutely HATE this comment.  It's a real conversation killer, too.  Exactly how is someone supposed to respond to this?!)

I'm sure there are more things that people have said to me that they really shouldn't have, but these are two that I heard yesterday at church that really drove me crazy.  I've also decided that I need to wear a sign that says, "No, we did not find out if it's a boy or a girl."  Not that it's rude for people to ask if we know or not, I'm just getting really sick of talking about it.  I should be thankful for something to make small talk about since I hate making small talk so much, but it does get tiring to have to say the same thing over and over again.

Some further remarks:  If you've ever said one of these two comments to a pregnant woman or even just wanted to say it, please reconsider your words.  What I find interesting is that both these comments came from women with children, so theoretically they would know how it feels to be pregnant and huge and not really wanting to be reminded of one's large girth.  Something more appropriate to say would be, "You look great!" (even if she doesn't...)  Pregnant women have enough issues with the way they look.  Please don't contribute to these issues by making ridiculous comments about their size and reminding them of just how big they might be.

Stepping down off my soap box...  Until the next annoying comment...

Third Trimester

Third trimester is kicking my butt.  I don't remember noticing this much of a difference in my fatigue level with my other pregnancies, although that could be because my iron levels are apparently quite low this time around.  Seriously, there are days I can barely make it up the stairs, and of course, those are usually the days I end up having to go up and down them two or three times in a row because I keep forgetting something up there.  Even now, I can barely keep my eyes open at the keyboard, and I'm pretty sure I slept fairly well last night.  How long is it supposed to take for me to notice that the iron supplements are working?

I'm having a hard time thinking of anything else particularly interesting to say.  I'm really only posting because it's been over two weeks since I posted last, and I was starting to feel like if I don't post something soon, it's just going to keep getting harder to find something to say.  You might start ending up with a whole bunch of boring pregnancy updates. 

That said, we're down to single digit weeks until my due date.  Gah!  I'm so not ready.  I still need to get Kaylee out of the crib and into a bed before the baby comes, more because I don't want to make that transition after the baby is here than that we need the crib, although that's a bit of it, too.  I have to go through my boxes of baby clothes to dig out the newborn stuff.  The only reason I have newborn diapers in the house is because Kaylee was so big when she was born that she didn't fit them, so I still have half a package from when she was a baby!

Well, that's about the end of what I can think of to say, so I'm going to go now.

One of those days

Today is one of those days. 

And it's only 7:30 in the morning.

The kids were up at quarter after six after another long night of interrupted sleep.  We've been dealing with a miserable cold/cough for a number of days now, and I've lost track of how many nights in a row I haven't slept for longer than two hour chunks at a time before being woken by one or other of the kids crying out in their sleep because their nose is plugged or running or they're coughing and it hurts.  In fact, a two hour chunk of time to sleep sounds glorious right about now because some nights it's been every hour, if not every 15 minutes.

I'm tired.  And I'm cranky.  And I don't know how much longer the Vitamin C I've been religiously taking is going to be able to keep me from getting sick, too.

But the sun is shining in glorious from the window in the front entranceway.  It slants through the living room and casts a beam of light over the dining room table where I'm sitting.  It's brightness brings warmth to my heart and hope for the day.

And it reminds me to focus my gaze on the true Light, that one who (once again) is going to be the strength that gets me through the day because, by golly, I sure can't do this on my own.

I'm tired.  But He is my strength.

I'm cranky.  But He is my joy.

We're all fighting a nasty cold.  But He is the Healer.

Thanks be to God for providing all I need and being all that I need.  Because today is just one of those days.

A post of nothing

Lest you think I've given up on getting up early and doing the morning blog thing, I figured I'd try to at least post something today.  Do you have any idea how long I sat at my laptop yesterday morning trying desperately to find something inspired to say?  My pregnancy brain misses its morning coffee.

This morning isn't a whole lot better, but I thought I'd try just sitting and typing and seeing what comes as a way of attempting to break through the block.  I was actually working on my menu plan for a while, and it seems I can't even come up with enough ideas for that either.  I've got five nights over the next two weeks that I just can't seem to figure out what we should eat, or more accurately, what I might feel like making.

So here I sit, unable to come up with a good idea for a blog post, and still trying to figure out what we're going to eat for supper.  Maybe another day will be more inspiring...

Day Three

The lights are on at the construction site behind the house where the men continue to work on the long-awaited and past-deadline rec centre.  There's a haze outside this morning that promises of one very hot March day and hints of summer rather than spring.  The tea kettle rumbles and grumbles behind me, and I miss my coffee.  Vanilla rooibos tea just isn't cutting it for me these mornings.

It's day three of getting up with the kids, and boy, I forgot how hard this is.  It's my own fault for getting out of the habit, and I keep telling myself it would be easier if I had a steaming cup of coffee waiting for me, which I know probably isn't true, but it does give me something to look forward to once these months of pregnancy are over.

And "Click!" goes the kettle.  My kettle doesn't whistle when it's done.  It kind of annoys me.  All I get is a "Click!" as it shuts off and pray that I actually hear it so I get up and pour the water while it's hot instead of having to reboil it when I finally remember that I was waiting for it.

So I'm going to continue on, and you'll get some disjointed blog posts, somewhat like this one, until my mental faculties return to their former non-pregnancy-hormone fogged state, and in a few months, I'll have the benefit of caffeine to assist me in providing added clarity through the fatigue.  I can see a difference in my moods already; not that I can attribute that to my own strength.  Lord, no, but He is faithful to provide grace for each day when we but turn to Him and ask.  Praise Him for His faithfulness!

Back to a new thing?

Well, people, you'll never guess it: I actually got up with the kids this morning instead of sending them downstairs to watch TV while I go back up to sleep.  I know.  It's a miracle.  It sucks, though.  I'm stuck with tea instead of coffee, and it's just not the same.

I've been feeling more and more lately like this pregnancy has turned me into a miserable monster, and I'm getting sick of it.  So in an effort to bring more of God back into my day, I'm going to try to get back into the habit of getting up with the kids and spending time reading all the inspirational and encouraging blogs that I used to back before I got walloped with ridiculous morning sickness.  Thankfully, most to all of my nausea and vomiting has abated, and I'm actually starting to feel a modicum of inspiration to write again, so if I can keep this up, you might even get a few more blog posts out of the deal.

(Wow, look at all those big words!  See, it's working already...)

I have to say, I was highly amused to log in to Blogger this morning and check my stats.  I couldn't believe that I've actually managed to maintain a steady readership, even though my posting has been sporadic and infrequent.  Get this: I've been pinned on Pinterest!!  I know!!  Crazy!!  Apparently, some of the recipes I've posted have caught some attention, how cool is that!

Anyway, that's about all I have to say for now.  I don't want to get too long and lengthy as I have much catching up to do on my blog reading after months of not doing much of it.  I will say this: the kids have been totally confused this morning by my getting up early.  They've gotten used to me going back to bed for about an hour after they get up, and now they're all like, "I guess you couldn't sleep, Mommy."  "What are you doing awake, Mommy?"  "What's going ON?"  Poor things.  I tried to remind Reuben that this is what I used to always do, and I think he gets it.  We'll see if I can get back into making this the habit or not...