AOYC 2020

Today of all days...this weekend of all weekends...needs words. For years we've lost track of, the May long weekend is convention weekend. It's a weekend where a thousand youth from across Ontario come together to worship and experience God, and a small group of production techs come together to be family. 

Last night, instead of putting on a headset and getting behind a camera to do my part of the worship session production, I put on a face mask and sat at my desk calling hospital wards and public health units to report positive Covid-19 results. 

This morning, instead of gathering for breakfast and laughs in the cafeteria with our crazy crew, I sat on my bed with a cup of coffee and watched the AOYC 2020 Live on YouTube (except it wasn't live anymore, because, well, covid and working).

And grief flowed heavy. 

My heart followed along with the worship coming through my screen while the pile of Kleenex grew beside me. I'd been ignoring the reality of losing this weekend, but it hit me this morning, and the tears fell hard and fast, and I just ached with the pain of missing my people and missing this convention experience that is always a highlight of my year. 

And now I finish my day with burning eyes and a lump in my throat, sniffling away at my desk while I write this at work, trying to keep still more tears at bay. Sometimes it seems these days that once you let them out they just don't want to stop. And I guess it is okay to grieve these losses, even necessary I suppose. 

But oh, how I wish we didn't have to. 

And I have just got to say, I am really, REALLY looking forward to the fantastic family reunion we will get to have when this ends, and we can have convention again.