Wednesday, December 15, 2004

In Memorium

It is with a sad heart that inform you of the tragic death of my van...(and my sister's van). She lived a good life. A long life. Saw the East Coast three times and numerous places in between. Cause of death: transmission failure. We will always remember her fondly.

In Memory of
Our Plymouth Voyager

(...on the bright side, we've already found another vehicle to take her place...)

Sunday, December 05, 2004

Of bumps, tears, and second chances...

It is hard to put exactly into words all the many things that I have been experiencing over the past number of weeks. My papers are done, exams rapidly approaching, and the Christmas season is upon us. To say that I feel slightly overwhelmed at how quickly the last semester has gone by would be an understatement, but at the same time I am glad to see it coming to an end.

Of course, the end of semester would not be complete without our annual Christmas concert, in this year's case, not one, but two concerts of Handel's Messiah. I would be remiss if I did not explain something of what this year's concert experience was like. To be honest I found it difficult to feel ready for the concert on Friday night. The evening seemed to come upon us rather before we were ready for it. Since singing the Messiah in high school I've loved the music and was so excited to be singing it again, but for some reason I wasn't in the mood for it yet, and didn't feel like it was coming together. The night of the concert: it went really well....until the end. I still don't even quite know what happened, but one minute we were singing together, and the next we were all over the place. Some say it was the sopranos, others say it wasn't...I don't really know where it started. All I know is that I had this sinking feeling way down in the pit of my stomach, that we'd done so well, and now we were blowing it...on a piece that we'd gone over so many times.

After the performance was finished I couldn't get my legs to stop shaking, and it was all I could do not to burst into tears...which I eventually did anyway, unfortunately not before I left the school. Tears led to a bloody nose, which led to a mad dash for the bathroom and a nasty bump on my head after running into the wall when I took the corner too fast. It was not a happy night.

Saturday was blah. I don't know how to describe it better than that. I knew we had a second chance that evening, but I almost didn't feel like doing it for fear we'd screw up again. It was hard to feel focused. It wasn't until I was sitting there just after the performance had started and I was listening to the orchestra play the opening peace that I began to pray, and I realized that God was in that church with us. What we were doing was truly for His glory. He would give us the strength to do it, to stay focused, and to enjoy ourselves. I never have had a more amazing experience singing with the choir than I did last night. I hope and pray that I never forget it. And who knows? Maybe someday I'll get the chance to sing it again...