Wednesday, May 24, 2006


Another convention is behind us and I am once again faced with the sadness and depression that accompanies the end of much hard work. I look back at this year's convention with mixed feelings. Some things went really well. Some things really did not go well at all. I'm sad that it's over because I enjoyed the people I work with, but I am still so physically and emotionally exhausted that I wonder if it was worth it. In the end I know that it was worth it enough to agree to do it again this year, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that the thought crossed my mind to get pregnant so I wouldn't have to keep doing it. :) Don't babies yet.

So many thoughts fill my head...

I think of spring, and time passing so quickly.

I think of pain and suffering and feeling joy through it all. And how I can still feel sad when I have everything I could have ever dreamed of.

I think of random things like how pathetic it is that our world has become so obsessed with bottled water to the point that we like a certain brand better than another. It's water! for pity's sake. And then how we waste it so much more than we used to by throwing out so many half-drunk bottles.

I think of how the blessing we receive in church at the beginning and end of the service has come to mean so much to me lately. The peace it brings to hear those words, "The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace." Num.6:24-26.

I think of how so many times I just long to be quiet and rest. Times when my heart cries, and I long to be in the arms of my Saviour, to hear him say, "Welcome home good and faithful servant. Well done." Can there be a better place to find joy and peace?

I think sometimes I should not think so much, but I can't figure out how to stop.


justine said...

but i WANT to be an aunt!!!!

ok. seriously....i know how you feel. that depressed..but no reason to be type of thing. suffice it to say, it royally sucks sometimes. this world blows chunks. the more i live in it. the more i realize that i don't want to be here forever. thus, the whole comfort thing in realizing that i don't have to because eventually Jesus will call me home and it's gonna be one huge party. but until then...just keep swimming, just keep swimming....
ok. enough of a sermony thing.

yup. i'm coming on saturday to laura's grad. i think we're all planning on going out for supper afterward.
until then....

"may the grace of our lord be with you. now and always. may you stay, faithful till he comes."

Sarah said...

Hey Marleah! INFJs like to think "too much" - and that's great! Never stop.

Love ya!


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