Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Looking back...

I was going over some old posts of mine tonight, looking back over the past few years, seeing how infrequently I posted at times. It does make it easier to read back when there aren't that many posts to read. It's left me in a bit of a pensive mood, and I'm reminded of my blog's description, "In memory of feelings felt..." Tonight I've really done that.

A few months ago, I was seeing a therapist (that's a long blog post for another day), and she once told me that grief is one of those things that you can put on a shelf when you aren't able to deal with it, and now and then, you take it down, and you can look at it again. You can feel the pain of the loss again, you can regret the missed opportunities, maybe cry some of those tears that were leftover, and then, you can be thankful for the happy memories that take the sting out of it all. Every now and then, you'll have moments when life gives you a chance to deal with it a little bit more.

I looked back at one post where I was asking about the whole when does time actually heal the wounds, and how do we know when that is? Well, it's been interesting tonight to look back at the healing process that's happened over the last few months in my life and see where I'm at today compared to then. Gosh, does it ever feel good not to be in that pit anymore!

And the funny thing is, I don't really remember when it was that I started to feel like myself again. It's just been a gradual, slowly over time, bit by bit, little by little, life goes back to normal -- "whatever your normal is".

And this has been WAY more introspective than I intended. Funny how my fingers sometimes go running off on me, and I end up in a place far from where I started. There's a lot of untold stories in all of this, but as I said earlier, that's a long post for another day.

To end off on a completely unrelated and somewhat more update-like note, Tim has been promoted to having a steady run at Northland! It's a run to Iowa, leaving Thursday night, back Sunday or Monday. It's not ideal to be over the weekend, but we'll take it for now, and the consistent income/work schedule will be a nice change. So that's that.


Angela said...

You know it's good writing when you can hear the person's voice as you read along. :)

Keep them coming...they are quite inspiring.

p.s. dave and i will be missing you all this weekend!

Pappy said...

Did you mean Northlands, not Artech? It's hard to get some things out of your system, I guess.

Marleah said...

Whoops, thanks for catching that!

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