The 23rd Year

So, another birthday has come and gone. 23 years. Wow. I can't say that I had a particularly exciting birthday. It was a Friday and so it was work as usual. Tim was gone on his run from overnight Thursday so I didn't see him until about 6:30-7ish that night. We didn't do anything exciting; went out for wings and drinks, then rented a movie and stayed in for the evening. He'd given me my presents earlier in the week because he has this thing where he can't keep secrets for too long or it drives him mad. I don't mind. All in all it was actually a kind of disappointing weekend. It's not like I was expecting anything, but I keep remembering how in our group of friends, at least everyone else got a cake. I had to bake my own cake to take to work with me. I feel slightly gipped. (I have no idea how to spell that correctly, and please forgive me for the pity party, I think I'm over it now).

Enough of the sob story.

The hot weather has finally hit and along with it has come an increased longing to leave this apartment. We have no air conditioning, and it really blows. Our cat has been continually meowing at the door to the balcony because she thinks it's cooler out there, and sometimes it is, except in the morning when the sun is shining directly on it. Either way, the meowing gets annoying after a while. Luckily we have a couple of ceiling fans, one which happens to be right above our bed, which makes sleeping easier.

We had our post Convention wrap-up/pass next year's budget meeting in Bowmanville this past weekend. Good times were had by all...generally speaking. Apparently these meetings have improved over the past number of years, less fighting and confusion now so I'm told. Anyway, as far as I could tell we got done what we need to, but in my poor and humble opinion the organizational structure that currently exists for running convention etc. is no longer working. But who am I to say?

Work continues on. I have come to the conclusion that I no longer enjoy my work. Sad to say I know, especially since it is actually a good job, but there was a reason I didn't go back to Union Gas for a second summer...that reason is called "filing". I do much more of it in my new position, and I am also a lot less busy. I generally feel like I sit around doing nothing, and more of what I'm supposed to do I don't like doing. I literally had four or five things on my desk yesterday morning that I was putting off doing because I didn't feel like dealing with them. I can't say I ever had that in my old spot, and if I did there would only have been one or two things.

*Sigh* Life goes on, and we put up with meaningless crap jobs until we can move up in the world to something we're a little more qualified for. Forgive my bitter ranting oh cherished readers. Sometimes I just need to vent.

Post-Convention

Another convention is behind us and I am once again faced with the sadness and depression that accompanies the end of much hard work. I look back at this year's convention with mixed feelings. Some things went really well. Some things really did not go well at all. I'm sad that it's over because I enjoyed the people I work with, but I am still so physically and emotionally exhausted that I wonder if it was worth it. In the end I know that it was worth it enough to agree to do it again this year, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that the thought crossed my mind to get pregnant so I wouldn't have to keep doing it. :) Don't worry...no babies yet.

So many thoughts fill my head...

I think of spring, and time passing so quickly.

I think of pain and suffering and feeling joy through it all. And how I can still feel sad when I have everything I could have ever dreamed of.

I think of random things like how pathetic it is that our world has become so obsessed with bottled water to the point that we like a certain brand better than another. It's water! for pity's sake. And then how we waste it so much more than we used to by throwing out so many half-drunk bottles.

I think of how the blessing we receive in church at the beginning and end of the service has come to mean so much to me lately. The peace it brings to hear those words, "The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace." Num.6:24-26.

I think of how so many times I just long to be quiet and rest. Times when my heart cries, and I long to be in the arms of my Saviour, to hear him say, "Welcome home good and faithful servant. Well done." Can there be a better place to find joy and peace?

I think sometimes I should not think so much, but I can't figure out how to stop.

Bright Spring Day

I am told that my update here is long overdue, and that it is. When you're as bad at remembering to email people as I am, it is interesting to find out that people actually do rely on this here blog to keep themselves updated on my life. Who knew?

My last few weeks have been rather busy with work and preparing for the All Ontario Youth Convention coming up on the May long weekend. I won't get myself started on all the issues we're dealing with concerning convention right now. Suffices to say, I don't agree with some decisions that are being made and how the committee is going about making them. As a quasi-member of the Ontario Youth Ministry Team (the "Board"), I can say things like that. When I say quasi-member, I mean that technically my position is part of the Board, but I don't have voting privileges. Such is the life of the Sponsorship/Donations Coordinator. Yes, that is my title, and I have the wonderful job of gathering money and goods to support the convention/youth ministry team. Speaking of which, if anyone would like to help me out in my endeavours, we're looking for a third member of the committee. Let me know...

Convention aside, I am still working my 1:15 to 9:15 shift at the CCAC. Technically I have a day job there, but I don't officially transfer until May 29. Our government is slow, and unions don't help. (Yes, the CCAC is government; health care actually...and yes, I'm part of the nurses union that is there, even though I'm not a nurse, figure that one out.) But the person who will be taking my job has officially started, and she gets to follow me around when her busy training schedule allows her to, and hopefully in four weeks she'll know what she's doing.

I'm posting a picture of my kitten here, for those of you who may not have seen her yet. This is from Christmas, so she's grown a bit...but I think she's still cute.

Oh life...

Of course it has once again been too long since I've last updated. I've been thinking about it for a while, but just haven't seemed to be able to find the time to sit down and get it done. Some things have happened since last I wrote. I have a new job now, sort of. It's still at the CCAC, doing pretty much the same thing, but it's for a different department and it will be day time hours. I haven't started there yet as they need to find someone to fill my current position first, but the job is mine. Hopefully they'll find someone else soon.

My Saturday's have mostly been spent in Chatham the last little while as Tim and Jon have moved their operations down there to put a new engine in Laura's car. As yet they haven't managed to get it started, a source of frustration to all as you can imagine. Maybe this weekend they'll have luck...

Last weekend was spent in Iowa watching sister Justine perform in Dordt's play Jane Eyre. She was Jane Eyre. I may be biased but I thought she performed quite smashingly.

Married life continues on. I've discovered why people have cleaning ladies. It is next to impossible for me to keep my house clean while working full time and having my weekends so occupied. There is currently a pile of dishes on my counter that has been there for I don't know how long, that even with the best of intentions I can only make brief dents in before we make more dishes dirty again. I long for the days when we finally have a house to call our own, though I doubt that will help much with the cleanliness issue. Still, then we could control our heat, I wouldn't have to worry about the rain coming in through the walls or being scalded in the shower, and no longer would we have to wait for that freaking elevator to make its slow way up to the 16th floor.

Oh life...

Saturday's spent doing...

Ironically, I'm sitting in the same place typing this post as I did my last: a warehouse in St. Catharine's, namely Northland Floral where my husband Tim works, and where he and his friend Jon are now working on fixing the lights on the tractor trailer he drives. I've lost track of how many Saturdays I've spent in this warehouse now trying to find something to do while they work/drink beer. The two go hand in hand. Last time I updated my blog and searched the Internet for point-click flash games to play...I found some good ones too. So far this time I've been cleaning out the cab for Tim, and now I'm updating my blog again. The alternative is spending the afternoon at our apartment doing laundry and cleaning...this works I guess.

Not much for news I suppose. I'm applying for a permanant position at work, the next in a long slew of positions that have opened up as one by one people with more seniority move up the line and I end up with whichever happens to be the job open at the end. I hope this one will finally be the last. We'll have to see; close date next Friday.

Our kitten is now a young cat, just about to hit puberty. We've got an appointment with the vet in two weeks to fix her before she decides to go into heat and make lots of noise about it. She is also to get her claws removed at the same time, for which our furniture will be thankful. Our new couches are starting to become somewhat shredded...not so good. (If anyone thinks declawing is cruel, spend some time around our cat, who will claw you...and maybe take a shot at clipping her nails sometime...good luck, you will need it.)

I have determined, just now, that I can't throw. If you need an example of someone who throws like a girl, I am it. I have no aim, and no distance. Very pathetic. I determined this when Jon asked me to throw a bag of silicone up to him on top of the trailer. The attempt was unsuccessful, and I ended up having to climb the ladder to bring it to him, something I hate doing due to my fear of heights. I'm feeling very girly and wuss-ish right now.

Anyhow, feelings of inadequacy aside, I'm actually having an okay day, mood wise, which is a nice change from the usual. It's hard to explain how graduating from college, getting married, changing jobs several times, moving, keeping house etc etc really start to mess with your head and your identity. The past few months have left me feeling somewhat disoriented in terms of who I am and "being me". Today has been one of the few days that I feel for once at home in my skin, and it's a rather pleasant feeling.

All that aside, I think I'll head off for now. Do some catching up on blog-reading, maybe find some more games to play. Till later...

Of new jobs and new cars...(somewhat overdue)

So, as per above title: I have a new job and a new car. Granted, this update is overdue, so I've had both for just over a month now.

Re: the Car
It's a 2001 Silver Saturn. Standard. I drive it very well now after two weekends of practice with Tim and four weeks of taking it to work every day on my own. I will admit though, it makes for considerably increased stress levels when driving through downtown Hamilton. Anyone driving with me will hear frequent curses flowing from my mouth at the other drivers...eg. "No you idiot stop slowing down for the green light...don't turn there you dummy...*honk!!!*...Stupid driver!!!!!" Granted, I used to drive this way before the standard, but it's gotten significantly worse since then.

Re: the new Job "Team Assistant, Intake & Referral Team extended hours, Community Care Access Centre of Halton"

Translation: "Team Assistant" I work on a team of several case managers. I do data entry of client information, faxing to service providers, filing, making up of new client charts, answering some phone calls depending on how busy we get, and other miscellaneous jobs related to "assisting the team".

Translation: "Intake & Referral Team" We're the people who new clients get in contact with when they're coming on for services with the CCAC. We also provide random information for people who call and need help with something we don't necessarily provide help with. We also do the intake assessments to determine whether or not people are actually eligible for our services...(I'll explain what those are later.)

Translation: "extended hours" My shift is from 1pm to 9pm. Everyone else goes home at 4:30ish, but me and three other case managers and another TA stay until later to keep the phones open.

Translation: "Community Care Access Centre of Halton" Basically this is home care, ie. nursing, rehab like physio, and personal support care within the home for people who can't get to clinics or hospitals where they could normally have this kind of care. It lets people go home from the hospitals to free up beds there for people who really need them. We also have a department devoted to getting kids with various disabilities help at school, and a department for admission to long-term care facilities (nursing homes).

So that's my new job. I am currently on contract for one year to fill a maternity leave; however, there is a new opening for a permanent position with daytime hours that I am looking at applying for. You may find that the job description I just gave changes at some point over the next month or so. We'll have to see.

Anyhow, those are the two big things that have happened over the last few months. I hope this hasn't been too boring of an update, and maybe one of these days I'll get better at posting more regularily. Till then...

Oh the midnight shift...

Sorry so long since updating. I confess, I haven't really felt interested in updating, mostly because there's not much to say. I am currently half-way through the fifth hour of my midnight to 8 shift. If I ramble or make no sense, that is why. I find myself without anything to do at the moment and I figured I might as well update.

I've been working a number of shifts lately. Actually had 60 hours on my last (biweekly) pay cheque. Quite good considering when you sign the contract they only guarantee you 7.5 hours in a biweekly period. I would say I'm doing a good deal more than that. I can't say that I particularly appreciate all my hours though, as most of them have been on the night shift, and the rest of them a random mix of 8-4's and 4-12's, never the same shift twice in a row...except for the past three nights that have been midnight shifts. As much as I love my job, I long for some stability and dream of the day when I might work for an organization that actually closes at some points during the day. I had a rather bitter shift a couple of weeks back when I had to choose which shifts I could be available to work over Christmas...and I mean holiday shifts like Christmas day etc.

Actually, in a bit of bright news, I have an interview next week for a job at the Community Care Access Centre in Burlington. I am praying very hard that it goes well, as it sounds like a great position and I am rather anxious to have a job with stable hours.

In other news, Tim and I got ourselves a kitten a couple of weeks back. She is the absolute cutest thing as anyone who's met her will agree. She keeps me company when Tim is gone on his runs, and she is definitely great entertainment. Now if only I can teach her not to jump on my head when I'm trying to sleep...

anyway, I'm sure this is getting long and dull, so I'll close off. Till next time...

Plugging Along

As I type I am once more at work. I warned you that posts would be sporadic due to lack of internet access. It seems that I've been working a great deal lately. Four shifts over the weekend and I'm picking up more during the week over the next while as one of the full-time staff is out with an injury. I've decided that I strongly dislike working on the weekends and sincerely hope that I can find a different job for during the weeks. It's a terrible dilemma because I love my job, but hate the hours. I've also received a stern lecture from both my husband and his best friend stating that I am most certainly not allowed to quit my weekend job for any other job that doesn't use my Redeemer education...leaving me with a significantly diminished list of options. The Lord will provide...and I must cling to that bit of hope.

I'm reminded also of how much I absolutely hate living on my own. Not only do I miss my husband dreadfully when he's gone on the road, (he's a truck driver for all who are unaware), but I find myself very creeped out in our apartment when I'm all alone at night. Daytime, no problem. Night-time when it's dark and there are funny noises coming from the apartments above and around us, I get spooked easily. I admit, I'm a baby. So sue me. Working during the week helps, but it doesn't happen often enough in my opinion.

Anyway, I can't honestly say there is a whole lot new happening, besides the standard car troubles. We won't go there. I see a new used car in the near future...

The Married Life

Apologies for the long absence from posting. I can truthfully say much has been happening in my life to prevent me from blogging, and so I will update you, hopefully as non-verbosely as possible...(if that's a word...)

I am now officially married, and while I am changing my name and therefore technically should be forever now known as Marleah Wiersma (that's wierd to type), I have not yet actually gone through the formal process of having my ID's changed. What a hastle if you ask me. So eventually it will get done and then I will officially have a new name, instead of just technically.

The wedding itself went quite well. The weather was beautiful, there were no major catastrophes that I know of, except that I couldn't breathe very well in my dress. A word of advice to all future brides, when you go for your fittings, make sure you take a deep breath in when they take in the sides. If you don't, the dress will fit great as long as you're not breathing, but when you do try to breathe...I wish you luck.

I do not have pictures yet that I can post, and when I do, I doubt I will because that seems to take more time then I usually have when I've got access to the internet. At this very moment I am updating you from work as we do not have internet capabilities in our new apartment. We also don't have air conditioning, which makes for a rather long summer given the heat and humidity we have been experiencing over the past couple of weeks. I have learned never to take air conditioning for granted again...you shouldn't either.

Other than that, I can't think of what I should say. My new husband is gone fairly often overnight as he is a truck driver and unfortunately drives quite some distances from home. My friends, I may call randomly some evenings in desperation for company...now you'll know why.

I should get going before this gets overly long. Hopefully I won't be too long before updating again...hopefully...

The rumor mill spins round and round...

It is with much pain and a heavy heart that I continue what could well end up a series of blog entries concerning the issue of rumors and gossip. I must admit that previously the problem of gossip wasn't one with which I was much concerned. Truthfully, I admit that I have on occasion engaged in idle chatter about people and their problems without thinking that I should be minding my own business.

Who would have thought it would take being the one gossiped about to change my ways?

It turns out lies are now being spread about me as well as the person I spoke of in my last post. To anyone who knows me, these rumors are ridiculous and laughable. To anyone who doesn't, what's to say they're not true? My heart aches deep within me that this should happen. I feel this incredible weight on my shoulders knowing that our reputations are being tarnished in this way.

Why now, four weeks before the wedding? Isn't life stressful enough without this?