Monday, April 25, 2011

Losing a Church: The Final Service

I apologize if this post isn't as well written as some I've done lately.  I'm having a hard time articulating what I'm thinking today, and I'm not entirely sure of all the reasons, (although one of them may be that Reuben woke me up at 5am today because his cough is bugging him).  But I did think that this is a post that needed to be written, however rough around the edges it may be.  So you'll have to bear with me.

Yesterday was officially the last service for our church.  Next week will be our Celebration of Ministry potluck, and then we are done.  It was a little bit hard to work through the mixed emotions about the service given that yesterday was also Easter Sunday.  It felt very surreal to think that the end is finally here, and that we were celebrating the joy of Jesus' resurrection at the same time as feeling the sadness of our last time worshiping together.

Over the past few weeks, I have largely come to a quiet acceptance of the decision that's made, and I am able to trust that this is God's will and that He will carry us on into whatever future He has in store.  There was a certain sense of relief that I am now experiencing that we will soon be able to put this church experience behind us and move on to a new church.  As much as I know it was necessary to be able to have these last few weeks together, it has also felt like a long way to end.

But the end is now here.  It came quicker than I expected.  I think I am ready for it.  By God's grace, I will be.

In a way, it has helped that yesterday was Easter.  I can focus on the great joy that I feel in knowing that I have been set free by my Lord's death and resurrection.  Jesus is alive!  Those words struck such a chord within my being when I read them yesterday.  He is alive, and I am washed clean by the blood He shed for me, and I can look forward to a new life with Him because He has conquered the grave.  Can there be any greater joy than that?

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