I had forgotten how much grief sucks.
Without going into too much detail yet because I don't know how much is public knowledge, let me just say that something that I am a part of is coming to an end, and it's going to be hard to see it go. The grieving process has started, and as I earlier stated, I'd forgotten how so not fun it is. The turmoil of emotions, feeling as if life has irrevocably changed, the sadness, the anger, the hurt, the sense of confusion and lost-ness trying to sort out what next -- and yet, through it all, still being able to praise God for His faithfulness, still being able to have joy in my heart for all He has done, and still being surrounded by His peace and love -- oy. It's a lot to take in.
I have made the first part of Hebrews 12:2 my mantra; "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus..." Through it all, I am continually reminding myself to keep my focus on Him so that God alone will be glorified in whatever happens next.
I'm also working to memorize Psalm 68:19-20a. "Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Our God is a God who saves..." I can get through this, but only by trusting fully and completely in God my Savior, who is daily carrying my burdens and walking beside me. May God give me the strength to face each new day with patience and grace.
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