About an hour after I published my last post about not being sure how much information I could share, an email got sent out that would have allowed me to tell all. Figures. So here's some of the details I couldn't mention before.
On Sunday morning, during a meeting before our regular church service, the church plant that we have been a part of for the past three years voted to end its ministry as of May 1, 2011. Over the past number of years, we have been struggling with issues surrounding leadership and vision, which has led to people being hurt and subsequently leaving the church. Our numbers have been getting smaller and smaller, and it has become harder and harder for us to support ourselves financially. This was not an easy decision to come to; many of us have actually felt that we were not properly informed of all the issues that were happening as it seemed like this has come somewhat unexpectedly. But in the end, even with whatever doubts and struggles we still had about the decision in our mind, I think we all had a sense that this is God's time for it to end.
There's not many people that can say they've seen the closing down of their church community. Sure, many people leave churches and go to new churches; that experience happens to a lot of us. But to actually see and be part of a church closing its doors, this is an experience for only a few.
I feel as if my particular view on this experience is also different in that I am actually an employee of our church. Since October, I have been working part-time as the administrative assistant for our church. Am I sad to see my job end? Certainly. Am I heartbroken? Not at all. To a certain extent, I feel like they had to talk me into applying for the job to begin with. I am in a good place with God right now to trust that He will continue to provide for us, and frankly, I look forward to having my Thursdays back. (Thursdays are my office days. The rest of the week I work from home.) And I always have my transcription work to fall back on... :)
So that's what's going on. We have five weeks until we are officially done meeting, and my job will continue for at least a month after that to help with all the closing details. I don't know what to expect from this next month. I know that we have a choice. We can take all the hurt and frustration and anger and all the other emotions we're feeling and leave with only bitterness; or we can lean on God, keep our focus on Him, work through the pain and come to a place of healing so that in the end, He will be glorified. I for one will be choosing the latter.