I had a moment of deep thinking the other day while we were doing a day with a lot of driving - thoughts about saying good-bye and being too busy to notice life changing and then finally when you slow down, you feel like everything's changed, and you need to adjust but you're not entirely sure how because really, life is just going on the same as it always has, it's just you that feels different.
Anyway, I had intentions of writing a semi-decent blog post about it all, but then Nathan started sleeping crappy again, and my brain power significantly diminished with the ensuing lack of sleep. It's a small miracle I'm writing today because he had me up for over two hours last night when he just didn't want to go back to sleep after waking up at 12:45am. And then I got into a somewhat heated discussion with God about how it was time for Him to step in and take over because I was at my wit's end, and how was I supposed to be a good mother to my other two children in the morning when I had to be up all night with a baby that was perfectly fine in all other ways but just refused to sleep??
I wish I could tell you how that conversation ended, but my sleep-deprived brain can't really remember. I think I managed to not get too angry for once, and I'm pretty sure Nathan fell asleep eventually, but I think I also ended up patting his back until he did so, so I have no idea if God was involved in the process or not. All I know is, it was a very short hour and a half later that he was awake again, so I finally took him into my bed, got him back to sleep, and had myself a short little nap before the cat came in and tried to wake us both up. Darn cat.
Another completely random and unrelated thing of note, my daughter's new backpack has a little hole in it made specifically for headphones. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I am certain, though, she won't be using it any time soon.
That's all for today...
Friday, May 24, 2013
Monday, May 20, 2013
Kick-starting my brain
I've been thinking over the last few days that maybe it's time to start getting more blog posts out there again. I think it helps to see my Dad blogging so regularly. It's funny though - when I used to blog so regularly, my brain was constantly thinking of posts to write, and throughout my day to day activities, in the back of my mind I would be writing posts to (hopefully) type up later.
My brain seems to have been shut off because I don't do that so much anymore. Maybe it's because I'm so tired...
But last night, Nathan had the best sleep he's had since he was an infant, if not the best sleep he's had ever. His first feeding wasn't until 2:45 -- and he didn't wake up even once before that!! Frankly, he's a pretty crummy sleeper and usually wakes up several times through the night. This has given me hope that maybe there is improvement in sight, and maybe I may start being a little less sleep deprived.
Which means maybe my brain will start working properly again.
Or maybe it won't because somehow being a Mommy permanently changes the way your brain works because now you suddenly have to keep track of all kinds of random details about your children that don't really have major significance but still need to be remembered, like diaper schedules and how much food they've been eating and what letter day it is at school today or if they even have school that day.
What's interesting to me is how I've noticed that as I consider re-starting my blogging habit, I am doing more of the post-writing thing in my head the way I used to. It feels a bit like I'm forcing it instead of it coming naturally the way it used to, but it has me wondering if that is how it is to a certain extent, a habit that I need to re-develop instead of waiting for it to just come. Maybe my brain just needs a bit of a kick-start.
Maybe I need to change the way I blog a bit, plan out my posts a little more intentionally, or do like Dad, and just write shorter posts. I do need to write about my garden at some point, hopefully with pictures. It's changed quite a bit since my last post about it. Every now and then I make something new in the kitchen, and I keep meaning to take pictures while I cook, so hopefully I can get better at that, too. Apparently crock pot bread is a real hit, so maybe I can find something else to do in the crock pot that people will like, too. :)
Anyway, at least for a start, you have a new post for today. We'll see if I actually get any better at posting regularly... (I just re-read my post -- there's a lot of "maybes" in here...)
My brain seems to have been shut off because I don't do that so much anymore. Maybe it's because I'm so tired...
But last night, Nathan had the best sleep he's had since he was an infant, if not the best sleep he's had ever. His first feeding wasn't until 2:45 -- and he didn't wake up even once before that!! Frankly, he's a pretty crummy sleeper and usually wakes up several times through the night. This has given me hope that maybe there is improvement in sight, and maybe I may start being a little less sleep deprived.
Which means maybe my brain will start working properly again.
Or maybe it won't because somehow being a Mommy permanently changes the way your brain works because now you suddenly have to keep track of all kinds of random details about your children that don't really have major significance but still need to be remembered, like diaper schedules and how much food they've been eating and what letter day it is at school today or if they even have school that day.
What's interesting to me is how I've noticed that as I consider re-starting my blogging habit, I am doing more of the post-writing thing in my head the way I used to. It feels a bit like I'm forcing it instead of it coming naturally the way it used to, but it has me wondering if that is how it is to a certain extent, a habit that I need to re-develop instead of waiting for it to just come. Maybe my brain just needs a bit of a kick-start.
Maybe I need to change the way I blog a bit, plan out my posts a little more intentionally, or do like Dad, and just write shorter posts. I do need to write about my garden at some point, hopefully with pictures. It's changed quite a bit since my last post about it. Every now and then I make something new in the kitchen, and I keep meaning to take pictures while I cook, so hopefully I can get better at that, too. Apparently crock pot bread is a real hit, so maybe I can find something else to do in the crock pot that people will like, too. :)
Anyway, at least for a start, you have a new post for today. We'll see if I actually get any better at posting regularly... (I just re-read my post -- there's a lot of "maybes" in here...)
Thursday, May 16, 2013
With sadness...
It's been probably our busiest week of the entire year, and my mind has been anywhere but on everything I've had to do.
It's hard to focus when I consider the events of the past few days and the nightmare that the Bosma family is experiencing. My "trials" seem so trivial in comparison.
And somehow, my life keeps moving on. I keep doing those seeming millions of things that need to be done this week - meetings, parties, prep for All Ontario Youth Convention, Reuben's first field day at school... But it's all tainted with a bit of sadness, and in the back of mind, I continue in prayers for a woman I've never met, this brave woman who speaks boldly to the public about the her husband that will never be forgotten while choking back tears and asking for prayers for herself and her daughter.
It all hits a little too close to home, and I can't help wondering if I would be so brave if it were me facing such horrific loss.
Please pray with me, that in the days, weeks, months and years ahead God will continue to provide this family with the strength, comfort and peace only He can bring.
It's hard to focus when I consider the events of the past few days and the nightmare that the Bosma family is experiencing. My "trials" seem so trivial in comparison.
And somehow, my life keeps moving on. I keep doing those seeming millions of things that need to be done this week - meetings, parties, prep for All Ontario Youth Convention, Reuben's first field day at school... But it's all tainted with a bit of sadness, and in the back of mind, I continue in prayers for a woman I've never met, this brave woman who speaks boldly to the public about the her husband that will never be forgotten while choking back tears and asking for prayers for herself and her daughter.
It all hits a little too close to home, and I can't help wondering if I would be so brave if it were me facing such horrific loss.
Please pray with me, that in the days, weeks, months and years ahead God will continue to provide this family with the strength, comfort and peace only He can bring.
Friday, May 10, 2013
Help Find Tim Bosma
I don't know if this will help or not, but this family needs our prayers. I watched the statement made by Tim's wife yesterday, and I couldn't help but be in tears. The little things I complain about through my day seem so trivial to the nightmare she must be going through right now. If anyone out there reading this knows anything about where Tim or his truck might be, please call the numbers on the poster below. Repost and share with your friends so we can get the word out everywhere for people to keep looking for Tim and his truck.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Of spring cleaning and fixing up basements
I've been thinking for a while now that it was about time for me to write another post. I can't say that I've felt particularly inspired by anything that makes me overflow with words, but since that last time I said anything was just before Christmas, and it's now the middle of April, it's high time for an update.
Nathan is almost 10 months old. Eek! When did that happen? He eats solids like a champ, has three almost four teeth, sits up amazingly on his own, and loves his Jolly Jumper. He is nowhere near sleeping through the night yet, but I have, for the most part, accepted that it is my current lot in life to live in a sleep-deprived haze, and so have managed, again for the most part, to move through the phase of post-partum depression I wrote about last fall. There are still good days and bad days, as will always be when parenting small children, but the bad days are not quite so miserable, and I'm able to enjoy the good days with a bit more energy.
Speaking of energy, I'm actually motivated enough this year to do some spring cleaning. And when I say "some", I actually mean I made a plan to systematically go through each room of the house and clean absolutely everything. Even the walls and ceilings. Even going through the closets and organizing them. I just might even find a day to steam clean the carpet in the living room. I got some spectacular new cleaning products that have encouraged me in my motivation to clean, and I think it is making all the difference. :)
Also, we got the work done in the basement we were planning. Well, we didn't do the carpet yet because carpeting is expensive. But we did get a wall put up on the side of the stairway that was open to the furnace, and we put in some new light fixtures to brighten it up so the kids will be more comfortable going down there. We also cleaned out all the junk in the room down there and painted it a darkish blue that goes well with the white trim. Most of the toys have been moved downstairs, as well as the carpet from the toy room until we can install carpeting. We also had an old TV and VCR that we hooked up for the kids to watch videos if they want occasionally. Tim just needs to finish putting in the subfloor at the bottom of the stairs and putting up the drywall on the furnace room side of the wall, but the space is now usable for the kids as a playroom, albeit a bit on the cold side. I'm sure they'll be thankful for that when the weather gets hot in the summer.
Anyway, I'd say more by way of update, but all three kids are up, and Nathan's fourth tooth-yet-to-come is making him miserable. It's also a school day, and we now have about an hour to get Reuben out the door onto the bus. So I hope you've enjoyed the update, and I'll try to find some inspiration for posts a little more frequently. Maybe you'll get some gardening or food posts...
Nathan is almost 10 months old. Eek! When did that happen? He eats solids like a champ, has three almost four teeth, sits up amazingly on his own, and loves his Jolly Jumper. He is nowhere near sleeping through the night yet, but I have, for the most part, accepted that it is my current lot in life to live in a sleep-deprived haze, and so have managed, again for the most part, to move through the phase of post-partum depression I wrote about last fall. There are still good days and bad days, as will always be when parenting small children, but the bad days are not quite so miserable, and I'm able to enjoy the good days with a bit more energy.
Speaking of energy, I'm actually motivated enough this year to do some spring cleaning. And when I say "some", I actually mean I made a plan to systematically go through each room of the house and clean absolutely everything. Even the walls and ceilings. Even going through the closets and organizing them. I just might even find a day to steam clean the carpet in the living room. I got some spectacular new cleaning products that have encouraged me in my motivation to clean, and I think it is making all the difference. :)
Also, we got the work done in the basement we were planning. Well, we didn't do the carpet yet because carpeting is expensive. But we did get a wall put up on the side of the stairway that was open to the furnace, and we put in some new light fixtures to brighten it up so the kids will be more comfortable going down there. We also cleaned out all the junk in the room down there and painted it a darkish blue that goes well with the white trim. Most of the toys have been moved downstairs, as well as the carpet from the toy room until we can install carpeting. We also had an old TV and VCR that we hooked up for the kids to watch videos if they want occasionally. Tim just needs to finish putting in the subfloor at the bottom of the stairs and putting up the drywall on the furnace room side of the wall, but the space is now usable for the kids as a playroom, albeit a bit on the cold side. I'm sure they'll be thankful for that when the weather gets hot in the summer.
Anyway, I'd say more by way of update, but all three kids are up, and Nathan's fourth tooth-yet-to-come is making him miserable. It's also a school day, and we now have about an hour to get Reuben out the door onto the bus. So I hope you've enjoyed the update, and I'll try to find some inspiration for posts a little more frequently. Maybe you'll get some gardening or food posts...
Friday, December 14, 2012
On Santa and faith...(with a little ranting mixed in)
Our house is all decorated for Christmas now. Thanks to my mother-in-law, I've got some nice greenery and bows for above the fireplace and some stuff for the railing around our front porch. We've got our tree, and the kids had fun decorating it. It's not too bottom-heavy... ;) It's a nice tree, and the house smells great, the way Christmas is meant to smell.
We got our tree at Home Depot. Not a particularly exciting place to go for a tree, but it's close and not too expensive, and they have decent trees.
Unfortunately, an experience we had with the sales lady this year left me with a funny taste in my mouth.
She was a nice enough lady, and I'm sure she meant well, but since when is it her right to try to convince my daughter that Santa Claus is real?
Let me explain. We had our tree picked out and went inside to get the lady to come wrap it up for us. As seems to be the usual practice any time we go anywhere in these days leading up to Christmas, the sales lady had to ask our kids something about if they were ready for Santa to come or some such nonsense. We've never done the Santa thing in our house; we want our kids to know where the presents really come from so they can be appropriately thankful to the givers, not to mention we want the focus to be on the real reason for the season, Jesus's birthday.
So naturally, Reuben pipes up quite loudly, "There is no Santa!" The lady was just appalled at this, (and I couldn't tell if she was seriously appalled or just playing it up a bit to try to keep up the allusion that there really is a Santa), but she proceeded to try to convince the kids there is a Santa, and the kids kept saying, "No, there's no Santa." Finally, we just stepped in and said, "Okay, kids, that's enough."
I had hoped the conversation was over at that point. Heh.
We were walking outside to where the tree was ready to go, and the lady decided it was okay for her to take Kaylee aside, deliberately leaving Reuben behind (the more vocal objector of the two), and whispered in her ear, "Don't you listen to what anyone else says. If you believe there's a Santa, then there's a Santa. Do you believe?" And Kaylee apparently replied, "Yes." (The sales lady then came and told me what she had said to Kaylee.)
I think the lady might have thought she was helping because she later made a comment that she had kids and grandkids, and I sensed that she's had to deal with older children popping younger children's "belief in Santa" bubbles before, but neither of our children have ever believed in Santa, (not that we've encouraged at least, if anything we've deliberately discouraged it). There was no bubble being popped, and if anything, she just created a difficult and confusing situation for my poor 3-year-old little girl.
We ended up having a conversation in the van on the drive home about the real meaning of Christmas, how we believe in God and Jesus, not Santa, and Christmas is about Jesus's birthday. I think we got the message across, but I also think that Kaylee was a bit upset by the whole thing.
When I look back on the situation, I get a sick feeling in my stomach. I wish I hadn't let that lady take Kaylee aside. I should have been more protective of her and not let some stranger take her away from me and whisper in her ear.
It's also caused me to consider a little more closely the whole thing about faith and how to talk to our kids about what we believe. I mean really, the difference between faith in God and faith in Santa is not so far a leap as far as believing in something you can't see goes. So I had to think about how to explain to the kids why we believe in one and not the other. I am so thankful for the Bible!
I'm equally annoyed that our society puts So.Much.Emphasis on Santa Claus. Especially since the prevailing sentiment is that Santa isn't actually real, that he's just something for little kids to believe in. Why in the world is it so important to set our little ones up for disappointment? Fine, have some nice stories about Santa at Christmas time; I won't make too much of a fuss. But for the love, don't expect me or my children to ACTUALLY believe that he's real, and you darn well better not step in to try and convince my child that Santa is real if he or she is telling you he is not. It is MY job to teach them what to believe about Santa, not yours.
Anyway, enough ranting. I think, I hope, I pray that Reuben and Kaylee got the message about what the true meaning of Christmas is. It's so hard to know how much they understand and what they think about all of it at this age. And now I know what to prepare for when Nathan gets a little older, and people start trying to convince him that Santa is real...
We got our tree at Home Depot. Not a particularly exciting place to go for a tree, but it's close and not too expensive, and they have decent trees.
Unfortunately, an experience we had with the sales lady this year left me with a funny taste in my mouth.
She was a nice enough lady, and I'm sure she meant well, but since when is it her right to try to convince my daughter that Santa Claus is real?
Let me explain. We had our tree picked out and went inside to get the lady to come wrap it up for us. As seems to be the usual practice any time we go anywhere in these days leading up to Christmas, the sales lady had to ask our kids something about if they were ready for Santa to come or some such nonsense. We've never done the Santa thing in our house; we want our kids to know where the presents really come from so they can be appropriately thankful to the givers, not to mention we want the focus to be on the real reason for the season, Jesus's birthday.
So naturally, Reuben pipes up quite loudly, "There is no Santa!" The lady was just appalled at this, (and I couldn't tell if she was seriously appalled or just playing it up a bit to try to keep up the allusion that there really is a Santa), but she proceeded to try to convince the kids there is a Santa, and the kids kept saying, "No, there's no Santa." Finally, we just stepped in and said, "Okay, kids, that's enough."
I had hoped the conversation was over at that point. Heh.
We were walking outside to where the tree was ready to go, and the lady decided it was okay for her to take Kaylee aside, deliberately leaving Reuben behind (the more vocal objector of the two), and whispered in her ear, "Don't you listen to what anyone else says. If you believe there's a Santa, then there's a Santa. Do you believe?" And Kaylee apparently replied, "Yes." (The sales lady then came and told me what she had said to Kaylee.)
I think the lady might have thought she was helping because she later made a comment that she had kids and grandkids, and I sensed that she's had to deal with older children popping younger children's "belief in Santa" bubbles before, but neither of our children have ever believed in Santa, (not that we've encouraged at least, if anything we've deliberately discouraged it). There was no bubble being popped, and if anything, she just created a difficult and confusing situation for my poor 3-year-old little girl.
We ended up having a conversation in the van on the drive home about the real meaning of Christmas, how we believe in God and Jesus, not Santa, and Christmas is about Jesus's birthday. I think we got the message across, but I also think that Kaylee was a bit upset by the whole thing.
When I look back on the situation, I get a sick feeling in my stomach. I wish I hadn't let that lady take Kaylee aside. I should have been more protective of her and not let some stranger take her away from me and whisper in her ear.
It's also caused me to consider a little more closely the whole thing about faith and how to talk to our kids about what we believe. I mean really, the difference between faith in God and faith in Santa is not so far a leap as far as believing in something you can't see goes. So I had to think about how to explain to the kids why we believe in one and not the other. I am so thankful for the Bible!
I'm equally annoyed that our society puts So.Much.Emphasis on Santa Claus. Especially since the prevailing sentiment is that Santa isn't actually real, that he's just something for little kids to believe in. Why in the world is it so important to set our little ones up for disappointment? Fine, have some nice stories about Santa at Christmas time; I won't make too much of a fuss. But for the love, don't expect me or my children to ACTUALLY believe that he's real, and you darn well better not step in to try and convince my child that Santa is real if he or she is telling you he is not. It is MY job to teach them what to believe about Santa, not yours.
Anyway, enough ranting. I think, I hope, I pray that Reuben and Kaylee got the message about what the true meaning of Christmas is. It's so hard to know how much they understand and what they think about all of it at this age. And now I know what to prepare for when Nathan gets a little older, and people start trying to convince him that Santa is real...
Saturday, December 08, 2012
Odds and Ends
It's funny the random things that give inspiration for a post. Like today, I don't really have anything in particular that I wanted to say, but my sister posted last night, and it made me feel like posting, too.
Back to having nothing really to say, it means you're going to end up with a post full of odds and ends. Here goes:
We will probably go get our Christmas tree today. This year, Christmas means that Nathan is six months old and starting solids. Already. I need to remember to enjoy this time before he gets mobile because next Christmas, he's probably going to be walking and trying to take all the ornaments off the tree. But maybe next year he'll be sleeping better, and I won't feel quite so sleep deprived.
I've discovered the awesomeness of making broth for soup in my crock pot. As in, we deep-fried a turkey, and I put the bones etc. in the crock pot overnight and made broth. And I bought a whole chicken, cooked it in the crock pot, got some great meat off it, and then made broth with the bones. One of these days I will remember to take pictures of the process so I can post about it.
We are planning to finish off the unfinished room in our basement. I have plans to repaint it, and we need to put in some carpeting. We also want to extend the subfloor to in front of the bottom of the stairs, carpet the stairs, and put some new lighting in the stairwell so the kids will feel like it's not so creepy to go down there by themselves. But first things first, it needs to be emptied of all our junk. This will be our winter project this year.
Well, the kids are done breakfast. I can only buy myself so much time in the mornings. More coffee is needed...
Back to having nothing really to say, it means you're going to end up with a post full of odds and ends. Here goes:
We will probably go get our Christmas tree today. This year, Christmas means that Nathan is six months old and starting solids. Already. I need to remember to enjoy this time before he gets mobile because next Christmas, he's probably going to be walking and trying to take all the ornaments off the tree. But maybe next year he'll be sleeping better, and I won't feel quite so sleep deprived.
I've discovered the awesomeness of making broth for soup in my crock pot. As in, we deep-fried a turkey, and I put the bones etc. in the crock pot overnight and made broth. And I bought a whole chicken, cooked it in the crock pot, got some great meat off it, and then made broth with the bones. One of these days I will remember to take pictures of the process so I can post about it.
We are planning to finish off the unfinished room in our basement. I have plans to repaint it, and we need to put in some carpeting. We also want to extend the subfloor to in front of the bottom of the stairs, carpet the stairs, and put some new lighting in the stairwell so the kids will feel like it's not so creepy to go down there by themselves. But first things first, it needs to be emptied of all our junk. This will be our winter project this year.
Well, the kids are done breakfast. I can only buy myself so much time in the mornings. More coffee is needed...
Tuesday, November 06, 2012
The glory of a good day
And the blessed release of a good day shining through all the not so good days.
As the fog lifts for a few oh so brief moments, I take advantage of the momentum and breathe in every last second of it.
Watching this precious beautiful little girl, cherishing the chance to see her for the amazing gift she is, so full of life, jumping and dancing and spinning.
Taking advantage of a burst of energy to get that one thing done that wasn't on the list, but feeling that little thrill of finally getting to something I've been meaning to do for ages and desperately needed to just be done.
Feeling the hope that maybe Nathan's sleeping habits will change soon, especially after he has a good morning nap that let me make use of the motivation I was actually feeling for once.
Someone's prayers were answered this morning is the only thing I can figure. I can't pinpoint any other reason for this unexplained brightness. But I bask in its glow, not sure how long it will last, but so thankful for it nonetheless.
Note: this post was actually written yesterday, but I didn't get a chance to post it at the time.
As the fog lifts for a few oh so brief moments, I take advantage of the momentum and breathe in every last second of it.
Watching this precious beautiful little girl, cherishing the chance to see her for the amazing gift she is, so full of life, jumping and dancing and spinning.
Taking advantage of a burst of energy to get that one thing done that wasn't on the list, but feeling that little thrill of finally getting to something I've been meaning to do for ages and desperately needed to just be done.
Feeling the hope that maybe Nathan's sleeping habits will change soon, especially after he has a good morning nap that let me make use of the motivation I was actually feeling for once.
Someone's prayers were answered this morning is the only thing I can figure. I can't pinpoint any other reason for this unexplained brightness. But I bask in its glow, not sure how long it will last, but so thankful for it nonetheless.
Note: this post was actually written yesterday, but I didn't get a chance to post it at the time.
Saturday, November 03, 2012
In search of motivation
It's 7:30 AM, it's finally becoming lighter outside, and I can start to make out the outline of houses across the street and distinguish between where tree ends and sky begins. The kids have been good and occupied this morning with the new Dora videos we picked up from the library yesterday. I'm gradually getting motivated to get my butt off my comfy morning chair and get some stuff done today.
Motivation is hard to come by lately.
The response to my last post was overwhelming to say the least. I have greatly appreciated all of your kind words of encouragement and offers of help. I'd like to say that my mood has improved since the writing of that post, and there have certainly been a few better days, but I am weary, and Nathan's sleeping still hasn't gone completely back to what it used to be. I wish I could say that getting more sleep will help, and maybe it will, but I'm starting to feel like the road back to feeling more like myself again is going to be long and filled with hard work.
It would be great if I felt more motivation to fight back again.
I wish this could be one of those awesome posts where I have all kinds of brilliant ways to find motivation when all you want to do is sit on the couch and surf the Internet or watch TV or read books or do absolutely anything other than feed the kids, dress the kids, and tackle the mountain of laundry that threatens to overwhelm the upstairs hallway and spill down the stairs. (Okay, my laundry situation isn't quite that bad.)
The only words of advice I have for myself (and maybe you) are this: Do the next thing. I forget where I read this the first time, probably on some blog or other, and I maybe have even referenced it here before, but there's a poem by a woman named Elisabeth Elliot called "Do the Next Thing" and talks about how we just need to keep our focus on the Lord and do the next thing. Whatever that next thing might be.
Today, for me, that next thing is simple: get off the chair. The next thing after that: go upstairs and get dressed. The next thing after that -- well, I haven't got that far yet, and that's the point. After I get dressed, I'll figure out what the next thing is, and I'll do it.
So here I go. Off to the next thing...
Motivation is hard to come by lately.
The response to my last post was overwhelming to say the least. I have greatly appreciated all of your kind words of encouragement and offers of help. I'd like to say that my mood has improved since the writing of that post, and there have certainly been a few better days, but I am weary, and Nathan's sleeping still hasn't gone completely back to what it used to be. I wish I could say that getting more sleep will help, and maybe it will, but I'm starting to feel like the road back to feeling more like myself again is going to be long and filled with hard work.
It would be great if I felt more motivation to fight back again.
I wish this could be one of those awesome posts where I have all kinds of brilliant ways to find motivation when all you want to do is sit on the couch and surf the Internet or watch TV or read books or do absolutely anything other than feed the kids, dress the kids, and tackle the mountain of laundry that threatens to overwhelm the upstairs hallway and spill down the stairs. (Okay, my laundry situation isn't quite that bad.)
The only words of advice I have for myself (and maybe you) are this: Do the next thing. I forget where I read this the first time, probably on some blog or other, and I maybe have even referenced it here before, but there's a poem by a woman named Elisabeth Elliot called "Do the Next Thing" and talks about how we just need to keep our focus on the Lord and do the next thing. Whatever that next thing might be.
Today, for me, that next thing is simple: get off the chair. The next thing after that: go upstairs and get dressed. The next thing after that -- well, I haven't got that far yet, and that's the point. After I get dressed, I'll figure out what the next thing is, and I'll do it.
So here I go. Off to the next thing...
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Just some bits of it
I had a hard time hitting "publish" on my post two days ago. If you normally read my blog by following the Facebook link I usually put up, you might notice I didn't put it up on Facebook.
Why is it so hard to admit we're not okay?
I've spent some time over the past little while thinking about this. For me, it's a couple of reasons. First, there's something about being that vulnerable with people that I'm just not good at. Most of the people who read my blog are people who know me in real life, family or friends. And for some reason, (which may take further pondering), I would rather pour out all the messy bits of my life in front of complete strangers rather than people I see face to face every day.
Then I was convicted by a post from Ann Voskamp about how as bloggers, we need to be willing to share the messy bits of our lives because it helps both the writer and the reader to heal, and I had to wonder if maybe, just maybe, there might be someone in my meager following that needs to hear that someone they actually know in real life doesn't have it all together -- that there's someone out there who feels the same way they do.
And it made me feel a little better about hitting "publish" on that post, but not better enough to go put it up on Facebook because frankly, being vulnerable is hard.
The other part of admitting we're not okay, admitting it to ourselves. And I think that's about all I'm going to say on that for now because I've been trying for the past 15 minutes to come up with a way to explain why it's so hard for me to admit maybe I can't handle this anymore, and none of the words are coming out right.
Which is maybe a sign of how much I really need to get on the stick about admitting how not okay it really is.
And more sleep would help...
Oh, and this is my 300th post. How cool is that? I had hoped it would be something a little more upbeat, but, well, this is where life is at right now.
Why is it so hard to admit we're not okay?
I've spent some time over the past little while thinking about this. For me, it's a couple of reasons. First, there's something about being that vulnerable with people that I'm just not good at. Most of the people who read my blog are people who know me in real life, family or friends. And for some reason, (which may take further pondering), I would rather pour out all the messy bits of my life in front of complete strangers rather than people I see face to face every day.
Then I was convicted by a post from Ann Voskamp about how as bloggers, we need to be willing to share the messy bits of our lives because it helps both the writer and the reader to heal, and I had to wonder if maybe, just maybe, there might be someone in my meager following that needs to hear that someone they actually know in real life doesn't have it all together -- that there's someone out there who feels the same way they do.
And it made me feel a little better about hitting "publish" on that post, but not better enough to go put it up on Facebook because frankly, being vulnerable is hard.
The other part of admitting we're not okay, admitting it to ourselves. And I think that's about all I'm going to say on that for now because I've been trying for the past 15 minutes to come up with a way to explain why it's so hard for me to admit maybe I can't handle this anymore, and none of the words are coming out right.
Which is maybe a sign of how much I really need to get on the stick about admitting how not okay it really is.
And more sleep would help...
Oh, and this is my 300th post. How cool is that? I had hoped it would be something a little more upbeat, but, well, this is where life is at right now.
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