Being real

Two of the blogs I read in the mornings had posts today about having crummy days and just wanting to run away.  I could relate a little too easily.  It feels like it's been a long stretch of crummy days lately, and I'm getting a little tired of it.

The exhaustion is wearing me thin.

And then I feel guilty that my complaint is that I just need more sleep (because I think that's what it is), and I wonder why I can't be happier about the rest of life because when I look at the ways God has blessed me, He is so good and faithful.

It is ridiculous how lack of sleep changes your perspective on everything.

This daily struggle to find joy, this daily struggle to see His grace forgiving me each and every time I lose my temper - oh people, how I struggle!  My heart echos Psalm 77:7-9, "Will the Lord reject forever? Will He never show his favor again?  Has His unfailing love vanished forever?  Has His promise failed for all time?  Has God forgotten to be merciful?  Has He in anger withheld His compassion?"

Will I be sleep-deprived forever??

And of course, the answer is No.  But there is such a difference between knowing that this too shall pass and having it actually pass.

So I struggle on.  And feeling this exhausted at least reminds me to take my vitamins every day again.  And I consider starting to exercise a little more regularly too because isn't exercising supposed to give you more energy?  (Who am I kidding? I am way too tired to exercise at this point...)

Anyway, that's where life is at, people.  I don't want pity or sympathy.  Maybe just some prayers.  And if any of you might be experiencing some of this too, you can know that you're not alone.